My Vegas Journal

[NEILKAHN]

I have returned from the Vegas trip, and it was a blast! It was great meeting the folks behind the names and getting away from home on my own for the first time. Rob55 was gracious enough to monitor my medication, and accepted my Mother's charge to make sure that I got plenty of rest. Of course, I avoided strong spirits and did not venture out to any of those clubs that had entertainers of questionable morals. I did not find the Stratomatic tables in the Casino, but except for the Celine Dion concert, I mostly stayed in my room playing Stratomatic, so it was the best time possible!

[NEILKAHN]

OK, I am being forced to fess up, here. Mom counted my money and checked my receipts, and I am forced to account for my gambling losses, I lost all of the 10 dollars I wagered in the 4 hours or so I played video poker and blackjack. Every bit of it. I have been grounded for a week.

[Treyomo]

That's why you should pocket your milk money - Momma would never know.

[NEILKAHN]

I was disappointed to miss out meeting the Angels Among Us, whom I understood would be there. Having never been on a real date, I was hoping, perhaps, that we could hit McDonald's or something, but such is life. They probably hooked up with Frannyzoo, or Paul. You know, somebody with bigger win totals. I was told that the girls were very friendly in Vegas by the janitor at the special school I attend. He said they would come right up to you and ask YOU for a date! This did not happen, although one offered me some sort of job, but I have asthma, so I do not think I could have done what she was talking about.

[NEILKAHN]

Coincidentally, the movie 40 YearOld Virgin was playing on the in room movie television. Hilarious. I never got a chance to watch Sextopia, however.

[NEILKAHN]

There are slot machines everywhere in Vegas. Everywhere. Airport. Hotel lobbies. Bars. Toilets. Cabs. Banks.Churches. Ok, not EVERYWHERE, but most places. So much so, that I submit that it is ridiculous for places to advertise that they have video poker. It would be notable if they DIDN"T have them. Waste of good neon.

[NEILKAHN]

I wonder, is there a special name for the ancient, chain smoking women one sees 24 hours a day at the slot machines, by themselves, expressionless, just pulling the lever repeatedly?

[NEILKAHN]

My girl friend insisted on going to see a stereotypical Vegas Show, with schmaltzy numbers with women with naked breasts and a chorus line of gay guys singing rhapsodically about " Girls! Girls!Girls!" So I went, just to be a good guy. As I was staring at the naked breasts, I could not help but wonder, why are SOME of the breasts naked, but not all? How do they decide which women will bare their breasts? Some women had naked breasts in some numbers, but not all of the numbers. Do the women with naked breasts get paid more for the nakedness? Some women had larger naked breasts than others. Are they paid more for the larger surface area exposed? It was an intellectually stimulating experience.

[NEILKAHN]

I saw something at the U2 concert I have never seen before. As you may know, Bono is quite politically active, and unlike the many other self absorbed/self important celebrity activists, he has been amazingly successful. His areas of interest, debt forgiveness for third world nations, and making available AIDS drugs in Africa were both addressed in a big way by, of all people, W, in no small part to his lobbying. Anyway, there was the usual give peace a chance stuff, but he actually sang a song which he dedicated to the American Serviceman. I have never heard that at a rock concert before.

[NEILKAHN]

The U2 show was astonishing. It was a three hour show, and I fully expected that Bono would talk through many of the songs, having lost some of his upper range, inevitably, with age. He was, however, fantastic. He seemed to have no trouble at all with any of the material, and the set was really just about everything you would hope to hear them play.