Sports, Strat and Renewing Vows!
Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 2:44 amAfter hearing from a family member that some mutual friends were renewing their marrige vows, my wife made a casual remark that WE should do that. I've been married 16 years now. Saw my wife for 6 years before marriage. That puts us close to the 25 year mark when people do that sort of thing...I guess. Knowing more now than I did back then, I think I would like to rewrite some of those vows. Let me know if I missed anything. <Ahem>
Her Vows....
I promise to believe you when you say "anything from the credit card company that says TSN, Ford Field, Comerica Park, Wings Arena or The Palace is likely just a billing error that eventually will be caught and corrected."
I understand that "March Madness" is similar to "Pon Far," the Vulcan's seven year mandatory mating cycle and it's best to just leave it alone.
I will not announce "my water just broke" on SuperBowl Sunday ever again!
I promise to try and find the humor in your pulling the bed covers over my head while shouting "IT'S TIME TO PLAY BOMBS OVER TOKYO!"
I swear not to bug you about chores during halftime as I understand the need to recover from what was undoubtedly an emotionally draining first half.
I will try to understand your need to shout at the TV as the coaches may need your valuable advice, especially during a re-building season.
I swear NOT to wash your lucky jock strap during softball tournament time.
I understand that the occasional phone call from Fifi LaRue and Bottles Bartholamew are in fact, wrong numbers and you will tell them that from the back room.
I vow not to laugh at your SOM pitching staff...ever.
The remote is yours....period!
I promise not to use the phrase "Honey...we need to talk," during any Sudden Death, Overtime, Extra Innings etc....
I will learn to accept that "getting out' means going to a sports bar with your loud, beer spilling, hot dog choking, gin puking, Don Juan wannabe's whenever I complain we don't do enough together.
I swear not to get mad if I'm stranded in the bathroom without TP while you await the outcome of the "2 (15 minutes+ comical beer commercials) minute drill!"
My vows...."I'm ok with the seat down thing!"
Of course, this is just a rough draft so...no need to forward this to my wife! :shock:
Her Vows....
I promise to believe you when you say "anything from the credit card company that says TSN, Ford Field, Comerica Park, Wings Arena or The Palace is likely just a billing error that eventually will be caught and corrected."
I understand that "March Madness" is similar to "Pon Far," the Vulcan's seven year mandatory mating cycle and it's best to just leave it alone.
I will not announce "my water just broke" on SuperBowl Sunday ever again!
I promise to try and find the humor in your pulling the bed covers over my head while shouting "IT'S TIME TO PLAY BOMBS OVER TOKYO!"
I swear not to bug you about chores during halftime as I understand the need to recover from what was undoubtedly an emotionally draining first half.
I will try to understand your need to shout at the TV as the coaches may need your valuable advice, especially during a re-building season.
I swear NOT to wash your lucky jock strap during softball tournament time.
I understand that the occasional phone call from Fifi LaRue and Bottles Bartholamew are in fact, wrong numbers and you will tell them that from the back room.
I vow not to laugh at your SOM pitching staff...ever.
The remote is yours....period!
I promise not to use the phrase "Honey...we need to talk," during any Sudden Death, Overtime, Extra Innings etc....
I will learn to accept that "getting out' means going to a sports bar with your loud, beer spilling, hot dog choking, gin puking, Don Juan wannabe's whenever I complain we don't do enough together.
I swear not to get mad if I'm stranded in the bathroom without TP while you await the outcome of the "2 (15 minutes+ comical beer commercials) minute drill!"
My vows...."I'm ok with the seat down thing!"
Of course, this is just a rough draft so...no need to forward this to my wife! :shock: