Teepack's been charged with murder!!!
Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2005 8:49 pmHey guys, I just wanted to let everybody know that I have been charged with a heinous murder that I didn't commit. It is in a time like this that I will have to count on the support of my on-line friends, because I'm finding out that my real-life friends are dumping me like I've got AIDS and the Bubonic Plague.
This afternoon, some federal authorities visited my house and started asking me for some information about a killing that occured earlier this morning around 2 a.m. ET. Of course, I was sound asleep on my couch at the time, but since I wasn't in bed with my wife (my little girl has been sick, so she was in bed with my wife and I was downstairs on the couch) my wife could not verify my whereabouts at the time in question.
It turns out that an Anthony E. "Pacoboy" Pisano contacted the FBI this morning around 8 a.m. and said that I had "killed" his dreams of making it to the Tour finals with my series victory last night that dropped him four games out with 12 to play. Pacoboy (aka AP) told the officers that for him to have any hope of making it to the Champions League, he needed to win the division and at least 90 games in the regular season, then take the World Series. My series win last night left him with an 80-70 mark. That means he'd have to go 10-2 over the next 12 games to reach 90 wins and have any shot at making it to the finals.
Turns out ol' AP was pretty upset and sobbed up a good story to the G-men, so they contacted their North Carolina office and trumped up some federal charges against me! I tried to explain to the officers that you can't actually murder somebody's dreams. And besides, there were still 12 games left in the season, and he was still tied for the wild-card lead. Technically, his dreams aren't dead yet!
They didn't buy my alibi, so I'm now sitting in the Wake County jail awaiting my bail hearing tomorrow morning. I'm typing this on my one five-minute break allowed. If you know AP, please contact him and ask him to drop the charges against ol' Teepack. My wife and kids miss me terribly, and I really would like to be home when I clinch the division title and officially kill off AP's dreams.
This afternoon, some federal authorities visited my house and started asking me for some information about a killing that occured earlier this morning around 2 a.m. ET. Of course, I was sound asleep on my couch at the time, but since I wasn't in bed with my wife (my little girl has been sick, so she was in bed with my wife and I was downstairs on the couch) my wife could not verify my whereabouts at the time in question.
It turns out that an Anthony E. "Pacoboy" Pisano contacted the FBI this morning around 8 a.m. and said that I had "killed" his dreams of making it to the Tour finals with my series victory last night that dropped him four games out with 12 to play. Pacoboy (aka AP) told the officers that for him to have any hope of making it to the Champions League, he needed to win the division and at least 90 games in the regular season, then take the World Series. My series win last night left him with an 80-70 mark. That means he'd have to go 10-2 over the next 12 games to reach 90 wins and have any shot at making it to the finals.
Turns out ol' AP was pretty upset and sobbed up a good story to the G-men, so they contacted their North Carolina office and trumped up some federal charges against me! I tried to explain to the officers that you can't actually murder somebody's dreams. And besides, there were still 12 games left in the season, and he was still tied for the wild-card lead. Technically, his dreams aren't dead yet!
They didn't buy my alibi, so I'm now sitting in the Wake County jail awaiting my bail hearing tomorrow morning. I'm typing this on my one five-minute break allowed. If you know AP, please contact him and ask him to drop the charges against ol' Teepack. My wife and kids miss me terribly, and I really would like to be home when I clinch the division title and officially kill off AP's dreams.