by seanreflex » Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:14 am
BOSTON (UPI) - In a very risky attempt to keep pace with the wheeling and dealing of the BFD's in the Eastern Division, the Mango Men today made some major roster moves. Rick Sutcliffe was told to grow his beard and prepare for the broadcast booth. Rob Wilfong, Milt May and Glenn Braggs were released outright.
The Mango Men brought in Mohorcic to bolster a strong bullpen. The "rotation by committee" will be anchored by Candelaria and Boyd, with Clancy, Ruhle, McWilliams, and Darwin to provide support. John Henry Johnson was also re-signed, after inadvertently being left off the teams 1982 draft card (ala Carlton Fisk's offer not postmarked in time sending him to Chicago a few years earlier).
The Mango Men signed Mookie Wilson to provide speed and defense in left field against RHP. The Mango Men also signed Fenway Favorite Don "can you come a little closer please, mr. secondbaseman so you can catch my whimpy cutoff throw" Baylor, to provide some power and spark against both righties and lefties. Baylor will go for the all-time HBP record this season.
As insurance, the Mango Men also picked up Willie Upshaw to crush RHP.
When asked about the frenzy of activity, Sean "Theo" Martin, responded, "do you have any idea what it takes to compete in this league? If you sit still with sharks like Mav, IMB, Yount Fan, BC, Sykes, Penn, and all the other NASTY individuals in this league, you get crushed. We want to repeat as champions, and that ain't gonna happen by standing pat!" Did we win in the future by standing pat with Garciaparra? EXACTLY my point!"
It will be interesting indeed to watch the race unfold in the east. Stay tuned.