Weekend at Bernie(h)'s

[jeffdoh]

I think the time has come to address a serious concern here at Strat/TSN. Our fearless leader, Bernie, has publicized a truly odd trio of "Most Favorite" teams on his profile page and I've seen nary a post on it yet.

According to his profile, the best possible Weekend at Bernie's would happen sometime in late October and into Early November. The Brewers would be playing a Saturday Night World Series Game 7, The New York Giants would be defeating Dallas on a Sunday afternoon, and the Houston Rockets would open their season that evening with a victory over The Mavs. Oh, and the Red Sox will be long gone from the mix.

What gives? How on earth does one come up with such an odd assortment of teams? Perhaps Bernie grew up in Houston and played Varsity Basketball. He was all-state Texas. His parents then uprooted the family to Milwaukee where Bernie enjoyed his first ever Beer and decided to leave basketball behind and root for the Brewers. "Yount is a 1 at ss!," Bernie was heard to exclaim in County Stadium one day, "why move him to center?!". Once, Bernie was even escorted out of the ball park for throwing a 20-sided die at Brewers 3rd base coach Harry Wagner when Ted Simmons was thrown out at home. "He's a 1 to 9 damn it! A ONE to NINE!!!". Oddly, Bernie hadn't yet heard of Strat-O-Matic."

Fate would step in, however. At the very Ted Simmons game, sitting right behind Bernie was Bobby Richman. Bobby, growing tired of shuffling "split" cards, and impressed with the 20-sided die thrown by Bernie as well as the kid's "strat intuition," immediately sent Bernie a complimentary SOM board game in 1984. Bernie quickly fell in love with the game, the hard white card stock (perforation hadn't been invented yet) and would play by himself all day and all night long. Legend has it that he never lost a game he played by himself. Needing to come up with a Washington Generals version of his opponent, Bernie decided to name his opposing Maneger "HAL," this seemed only logical having just met Bobby's cousin, Hal Richman, founder of SOM at dinner only weeks earlier. Bernie went 1,984-0 against HAL managed teams, often losing by extreme scores in the bottom of the ninth inning but ultimately prevailing by having HAL intentionally walk 23 consecutive batters, make absurd defensive replacements, and use his worst relievers in the most important spots.

Hearing of all this, Hal Richman was impressed. He invited Bernie to Glen Head, NY in 1986 where they engaged in a Heated Red Sox/Mets Strat Game and Bernie suffered his 1st ever loss to a new and improved HAL (this one actually was human and made logical baseball moves). Bernie vowed than to improve his own version of HAL and promised himself that if an Internet was ever invented, he would test out this creature there.

Nevertheless, during game 7 of the 1986 World Series, Hal Richman took Bernie to a Monday Night football game between the Giants and Redskins where Bernie fell in love with Lawrence Tayor, but for some reason could only think of him as a Team Defense card. A team defense card with many -8 and -9s, though.

And so (may have) began Bernie's Journey at Strat-O-Matic and how he (may have) chosen his favorite teams.

What, you have a better idea?

[STEPHENANDERSON 2]

Priceless :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[jeffdoh]

he he. thanks. well, it's one theory, at least. and there's actually alot of historical accuracy in there, among the drivel. ;-)

[Free Radicals]

Awesome reading JD .
I grew up in Chicago , root for the White Sox , Steelers, Spurs, and Sabres . It happens ! :wink:

p.s. maybe he was a Seattle Pilots fan ! :shock:

[bernieh]

JD, thanks for that. That was far more interesting an explanation than I could possibly tell, so I'll leave it at that.

For what it's worth, being a born-and-raised New Yorker, I did grow up a Yankees, Knicks, Giants and Islanders fan.