The Fan base is ecstatic: This is the moment we've been waiting for!!!! There's over 10,000 of them tailgating in the parking lot with a lot of beer. They've waited all year for this! They've kept their fingers crossed!! They've paid Bernie alot of money!!!!!!! And here's what their getting:
Ivan ("the Terrible") Calderon (87) will hit .430 with 65 RBIs.
Mike ("The Terminator") Smithson (84) and Shane ("Slowhand") Rawley (85) will combine for 20 victories.
Art ("The Fisted Glove") Howe (80) will go errorless at 3b and destroy opposing LH's.
Jeffrey ("HacMan") Leonard (84) will hit 15 HR and score 50 times.
The team's going on a 43-8 tear to clinch a playoff berth on the last day of the season, in one the most dramatic, moving, and overly commerialized moments in sports history . . . . .
GOOOOO PLUTOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Stay tuned for the team theme song we're feverishly working on . . . .