Moral support requested

[bernieh]

Hey everyone...

This may be a rare, unusually personal post from me, but here goes. I've been working like an absolute lunatic on this site rebuild and transition for the last 6 months, and now, going into the stretch run, I'm kinda breaking down. I went to the doctor today for what's apparently [i:d42c0ed759]stress-related bleeding[/i:d42c0ed759], which started last week and has been freaking me out. I've still got energy and am determined to power through this and make our launch successful, but I have to admit it's been a bit of a struggle.

I'm not (just?) trying to garner sympathy here (though at this point I'm not too proud to accept it). What I'm asking for is a laugh. I could use one right now.

Who's got a good joke for me? Nothing too explicit, racist, political, or offensive. But otherwise... make me laugh. Please!

Stay tuned for more info about the transition.

[Honeyman]

Here's an old Steven Wright joke. Walked into a restaurant that had a sign that read "Breakfast served anytime," so I ordered French toast during the renaissance."

Hope you get that bleeding under control, and hope you feel better soon.

[FUDU]

What's better than honor?


In her.


[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuA0Xm2cy1s[/url]

[JOSEPHKENDALL]

A man was twisting his wedding ring around his finger. Another man comes up to him and ask what he is doing. The married man replies, "I am trying to find the combination."

[Mr Baseball World]

Q: What did Jesus say to the Cubs last time he was on Earth?
A: Don’t do anything til I get back.

[JOSEPHKENDALL]

From readers digest:

An elderly man arrived in the emergency room complaining of hip pain after falling. "Sir", the nurse said, "how did you fall?" He replied, "Down."

[Valen]

Definitely can sympathize. Been there with the stress related bleeding. Can only offer sympathy as offering advice would imply I had solved something.

[Valen]

The teacher was quizzing her Sunday school class to see if they understood what it takes to get into Heaven.

She asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big rummage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?"

"No!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, cut the grass, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "No!"

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, they all answered, "No!"

"So, how can I get into Heaven?" she asked.

Six-year-old David shouted out, "You have to be dead."

[Valen]

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Brown's daughter."

Her mother told her this was wrong; she must say, "I'm Jane Brown."

The following Sunday, the Minister spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Brown's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was but my mom says I'm not."

[Ursoid]

A geezer walks into the pro shop and buys a dozen Top-Flights. The assistant pro doesn't recognize him, so he asks "What's your handicap?" to try and start a conversation. The geezer glares at him a second and replies "I'm old!"