by MICHAELEVANS » Thu May 25, 2006 2:18 pm
[b:24b186c68c]NEWS FLASH[/b:24b186c68c]
The Houston Senators 29 (formerly known as the Perry Masons, but who changed their name after all the club's lawyers were fired), were saddened by the defection of team great "Shoeless" Joe Jackson to the Hillsboro Hummers. As he cleaned out his locker room and left the ballpark, a tearful youth tugged on his shirtsleeve and begged, "Say it ain't so, Joe." It was rumored that certain unsavory characters from Hillsboro had offered Joe money in addition to his regular salary, but there has been no evidence come forward to prove that.
Old Geezer was philosophical about the loss, since Jackson had severly underperformed last season, hitting only .287. He was able to announce that the Senators had just acquired Bob Meusel in Free Agency from divisional rival Control Theory, and was looking forward to players trying to run on the outfield with Cesar Geronimo in center, flanked by Meusel in right. "Just let them try it," he gloated, "and they'll get nailed almost every time!"
Fans were planning a ticker-tape parade for Meusel sometime prior to the beginning of the season.