Paul's Franchise League - 1962

Met manager Casey Stengel, exhibiting a bit of confusion with his new expansion roster, has been talking up the team's new closer Jim Roland, whom he inexplicably referring to as Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner. "This guy Roland, he's not only a lefty, but he's headless. He has no head! I wish all the rest of my staff had no heads. If Give Him the Hook had no head he'd have no brain so he'd just pitch instead of worrying about all those home runs he gives up. And he's an attraction. We'll rival Coney Island's sideshow with our own headless southpaw. Plus we'll save money on hats for him. He's a war hero from the Land of the Midnight Sun, and he fought in Biafra and Congo, until Hall of Famer Mickey Van Owen accidentally shot Roland's head off. Which reminds me that we've got some great coaches on this team like Solly Hemus and Rogers Hornsby. Maybe one of them could borrow Van Owens tommy gun and shoot Hooks' head off?"