NEWS RELEASE 11/18/15
An important announcement has been made this morning by the owners of the Stratzillas franchise. They have decided to re-name the franchise the Roadrunners! This name change will go into effect for 2 keeper leagues that they compete in...The 60's and the 90's.
ESPN analyst Chris Berman was able to contact manager Jimmy C for an interview:
Chris: Jimmy...Can you tell us a little bit about what is going on behind re-naming the franchise in 2 keeper leagues?
Jimmy: We just suffered 2 heart-breaking losses in 2 keeper leagues to the Time Lords and Mockingjays, both of which as you know are managed by Coyote. In the 90's they bumped us out of the post-season by taking the division with the tie-breaker. Boomer, they were 1 game better than us in head-to-head there. And we crushed them in run differential. BUT, the first tie-breaker was HTH so we had to go home.
Chris: I also saw them beat your team in the 60's semi-finals round.
Jimmy: That was the worst of it. Our team lead the league in runs produced, and yet they finished us off in the semi-finals with 3 straight shut-outs! It reminds me of what happened to the 2015 Mets...The bats just disappeared!
Chris: I'm feeling your pain Jimmy. Why re-name the franchise the Roadrunners?
Jimmy: After long management meetings this off-season, we realized that there is NO WAY EVER that a Coyote can catch a Roadrunner. Therefore, that became the obvious choice for our new name.
Chris: Do you really think that is going to be the strategy that gets you past manager Coyote?
Jimmy: Boomer...I spent many hours of my misspent youth watching that Coyote try to catch the Roadrunner. Every time he tried to catch the Roadrunner, he blew himself up with explosives, he fell off of cliffs and had giant boulders fall on his head...stuff like that. Yes...I think this is the strategy that is going to get us past that Coyote in the future.
Chris: Have you got any other tricks up your sleeve going forward?.
Jimmy: Don't tell Coyote...but...I'm sending him a gift card to Acme Products for Christmas this year. I can't wait to see what crazy devices he ends up getting.
Chris: Thanks for your time Jimmy...Any last words for us?
Jimmy: Just this Boomer...BEEP-BEEP