How to tell when you are having a bad day.....

you wake up to THE BLUES PROJECT blaring "WAKE ME SHAKE ME" at full volume because you forgot to turn it down after the dance party the night before. The music is so loud it rattles the windows and you leap across the room desperate to hit the power button.

you stumble downstairs, and as you get to the last step, your dog, a full grown italian mastiff, comes bounding up to you, knocks you down, and starts licking your face in anticipation of being fed.

you pull yourself slowly up, make your way to the kitchen, put the kettle on the stove, and reach for the coffee cabinet only to discover you forget that you finished the last bag of PEETS Major Dickinson blend, and you are java-less. The only thing in the cupboard is a old bag of chamonmile tea left over from the previous century.

So you decide to blow off any kind of breakfast, and go to your desk to see if there is something there to cheer you up. Certainly not the news, so you figure, what the hey, there has to be some good news somewhere.....lets try sports....

So you're a Braves fan, and you find out that the Dodgers with all of Magic Johnson's and his buddies money, have offered Freddie Freeman 50 million more dollars than the Braves offered. So grasping now for some kind of hope, you click on your STRAT-O-MATIC 365 button, to check on your 11 teams....
only to find that last night your teams had a record of 2-31, you were swept in 9 series, your team with the best shot at the playoffs had Kal Daniels go down for a 15 game injury in game 1, John McGraw go down for a 15 game injury in game 2, and Lajoie go down for a 9 game injury in game 3.
Then you go look at your BARNSTORMER Tournament team that you just auto-drafted and waivers ran last night, only to discover that you had accidentally picked the wrong NAVIN Park without realizing it--you had picked 1934 instead of 1924, so all your auto-draft and waiver picks were totally bogus.

So you say "screw it" and decide to get some work done, looking forward to the end of the day when you plan to get together to play board strat with one of your buddies. When the day's work is finally done, you grab your 1956 Milwaukee Braves Strat card team, hop into your car, and suddenly realize that you gas tank is below the "E". So you head to the nearest gas station 8 miles away, only to discover that in your haste you forgot your wallet, so you reach into your center console pockets and come up with 6 dollars and 21 cents, mostly in dimes and nickels.....so when you go in to pay for the gas and dump your change on the counter, the attendant says in a very loud voice..."at the bottom of the barrel are we?"......and now everyone in the place knows....

So you put the gallon and a half into your car, and head off to your buddies house. At this point, you figure your luck has to change, you are playing a best of 7 series against your buddies 56 Yankees.

So you arrive, your buddy actually has coffee, you setup the game, its Spahn vs Ford, the classic matchup. In the top of the first, Johnny Logan hits a single, Danny O'Connell draws a walk and you have Aaron coming to the plate. You figure, okay here we go, no outs, two runners on, Hammerin' Hank at the plate. So you roll a 1-12, which turns out to be max outs with injury, so Aaron is out for three games and just hit into a triple play.
You figure, what else could possibly go wrong?

Somehow, via a Del Crandall getty goner, the Braves come back, tie it in the 9th, and you go to Xtra innings. Eddie Mathews cranks one in the top of the 10th, and you are thinking that finally your luck is changing. In the bottom of the 10th, with Phillips pitching, you get two quick outs, Berra and Showron both strike out. and you can already taste the victory. Then Billy Martin draws a walk, and your buddy brings in Bob Cerv as a pinch-hitter.

I don't have to tell you how this all ends.

You just wake up the next morning, and figure that tomorrow is another day....

By the way, all of these things actually happened to me, albeit not on the same night, but you get the idea......

The Chamomile tea was the tip off. It hasn't been sold since 1978 but everyone still has it in the cupboard.
Once you stoop that low, the rest of the bad day is inevitable.

Impossible to start a day without coffee. At that point go back to bed.

This reminded me of my Dad’s cousin Al. He’d tell a story like that and everyone would be speechless. Cousin Al would shrug and say “What ya gonna do…heh”.